Friday, May 6, 2011

Family Circus



 So we were driving home from somewhere and the kids were asking about my grandfather and they were surprised to hear that his name is Ben just like their grandfather.  When they asked why people called him Fahr we explained it came from how a small child (his children) might pronounce "father".  Grace said "I thought it was "Far" like in run far away."  Without hesitation Darragh added "And I thought it was "Far" like Jafar!"  (the tall, narrow, evil advisor to the Sultan from Aladdin)  I laugh every time I think of my tall, narrow grandfather with a twisted black beard and a serpent staff.

The other day we had an unexpected visitor.  My house was unusually messy and it was dinner prep time which is my most busy and hectic part of the day.  Thinking I had imagined the doorbell I opened the front door without changing the atmosphere of the house and was shocked to see a person standing there that introduced himself (was here to see my father-in-law) and asked to come in.  I invited him in and he looked around at what was going on.  I am not kidding when I say it was a circus.  The kids were dancing wildly to the classic Can Can piece that was playing at a deafening volume from the speakers.  The house was shaking from the thuds of bodies flinging themselves from the couches and there was a baby crying and throwing angry handfuls of cheerios in cascades to the floor.  The dining room table was covered in construction paper, pens, homework, a laptop and my papers, piles of folded laundry,  spilled milk cups and pretzels and a vase with dead flowers.  As I led him across the room it got worse as I had to guide him not to trip on the hundreds of legos on the floor and keep children from spinning into him in their frenzied dance.  Thank goodness I had on lipstick as this random touch gave the impression that I had allowed things to be this way on purpose.  Much to my surprise he seemed unshaken by it all and in fact carried on pleasant conversation as if we were in the lobby of an elegant hotel.  I seated him and quickly siphoned off the majority of the mess on the table where he was seated and offered him tea.  My father-in-law came to my rescue and entertained him while I got into a highly focused state of efficient tidying.  Sending the kids to the boys bedroom along with the CD with the Can-Can music, they continued their acrobatics on the bunk bed and I prayed a prayer for their safety and proceeded in closing two doors between them and the living room.  
Sometimes I wonder if I am a bit crazy but I find that one of my greatest pleasures is cleaning my house without kids under my foot.  I can clean up my entire house and put almost everything in its place (I do the job right...not just pushing piles and throwing things in closets), in about 45 minutes including vacuuming for its never done until it's vacuumed.  By the time the man left, my house was sparkling, dinner was on and I was still wearing lipstick and having a glass of wine.  /sigh. There are not many things that can conjure the same feeling of satisfaction and pride to a homemaker.  Sounds shallow I know but we mommies have to find these moments in our days to motivate us to keep going.  An eccentric woman from my church used to have a carved wooden sign over her kitchen door that said "Magic Mommy".  I believe the story is that she got it from friends (she was a groupie with those Greatful Dead guys) for baking "special" cookies and nurturing people.  While I don't quite like the laced cookies idea, I have always loved the title of Magic Mommy.  So there in my kitchen, in my clean house, listening to my laughing children and sipping my wine while wearing lipstick on a Tuesday afternoon, I was Magic Mommy.  Lesson learned?  An unexpected guest can have surprising result on your house and your outlook.  Or, be sure to always wear lipstick.  

3 comments:

  1. Alice! So lovely to "hear" your voice and how fabulously surprising that I, a childless woman, can laugh and find VERY COMMON GROUND in your experience. Recently I've had a possum family coming to my produce garden like they're shopping the aisles at Kroger. A mother and four tiny but apparently aggressively hungry babies. Finally we had to put out humane traps- the first night we caught two babies, second night two more, and the last night we caught the rotund, hissing mother. Each morning after the catch, we'd drive them to a forest-y area about two miles away.

    I was running a bit late on the morning we were taking the last of our rodent haul, the mother, to her new home. It started to mist outside and I wad thinking about how Wet Possum probably tends to "linger" as a scent in the car. So I grabbed the cage and set it down on a tarp which I'd folded up and set by my front door.

    As I finished readying myself to leave, there was a knock at the door. Still in my hurry, I ran to the door and opened it, surprised to see the wife of one of our associate pastors. Without even thinking, I waved her up the two stairs, right over the threshold...where she was greeted by a fat, hissing, spitting mama possum. My face fell as I realized how impossibly "redneck" this looked to a woman in a power suit and heels. Just as I was tripping over myself to say "um, I don't normally have...possums...in the... you know, HOUSE..."
    She was already turned on her pointy heel and walking away. (fast) She turned her head and yelled over her shoulder "I'll leave this book for you...in your mailbox!"


    And I'm STILL getting the "whatcha been cookin', lady clampett?!" jokes from church members.

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  2. Great story! I would love to know what that man walked away from your house thinking...probably something like "now THAT is is great family!" It is a good thing that you wrote this out because believe it or not, I have a feeling that we will forget the details of these crazy days. Im so glad you got to write for us again- you are a great writer! I also got a kick out of Liz's story- hilarious!!
    Hope to see y'all soon! xoxoxo

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  3. ...or be sure to have a bottle of wine handy. I read this at just the right time in my day. Thank you.

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