Henry's Birthday

In honor of Henry's birthday I will finally write his birth story.  I share here the abridged version.

One year ago today I woke up having contractions 9 days past my due date.  I called my midwife Griselda and after breakfast the kids were sent off with Grandma and Grandpa.  John and I had a sweet time laboring pretty much alone for several hours while my three midwives knitted and drank tea in the living room, periodically coming to check fetal heart tones and my blood pressure.  One of my dearest friends Juanita came to take pictures throughout labor and of the birth.  My lovely sister-in-law Hannah came to watch and video the event.  It was one of the most special days of my life as were all the birthdays of my children.  I was truly able to feel the sacredness of what was happening as well as enjoy the pleasant company of my mate, the father of this little one.  While the majority of the labor was mild, the last hour was quite challenging and I was still able to huff and puff up that mountain that women climb when they give birth.  Each of my four labors have been very different and this one was particularly sweet as I was aware that this was my last time being pregnant and going through labor.  I have formed a close bond with my midwife who has attended the births of all of my children.  Her assistants have also been been to a few of my births and I felt close to them.  I was literally surrounded by people lovingly looking for ways to support me and make sure I was safe.  At 3 o'clock in the afternoon Henry was born into his father's and my hands.  Here are some pictures from the event taken by Juanita.  Don't worry, there will be no blood:)

Early labor after breakfast....waiting for things to pick up a bit more.

John has been through this a few times and is the perfect "dude-la".   His presence was absolutely necessary this time....my body ceased to have contractions whenever he left the room for a break.   Therefore for several hours we were alone in our room laboring close.

Yana is here taking fetal heart tones to make sure Henry was doing ok.

Yana reading and Griselda knitting in the dining room.  It was so comforting knowing there were there when I needed them.

I love this picture because it captures one of the beauties of homebirth.  My midwives came to attend to me in MY space.  I was not in a hospital in someone else's territory.  Remember, I am not anti-hospital.  I feel that homebirth is right for me and my babies. 

He is still doing well...just checking again. :)

Griselda updating Hannah who has just arrived.

A great labor position.

Looks like an ad for Birth Pool in a Box!  I labored here for a while expecting to birth in the water as I did with Judah but decided that I felt like birthing on dry land. 

This is one of my favorite pictures ever. Me eating yogurt and laughing with Griselda at about 7-8 cm dilated.  My water hadn't broken yet and contractions were relatively easy. 

 After moving to the bed and dealing with pretty tough transitional contractions I asked to have my water broken to get the show on the road.  Because Henry's heart rate was having a hard time coming up after contractions we decide that this was a good idea since he seemed to be in a little distress.  Gris broke it and he was born within 6 minutes I believe.  He pinked right up and started to cry.

Welcome little Henry!  Join the crew!  We are so happy you are here!

10 days old on Mount Tam in June

He may have had the most hair of all the kids but only by a small margin.

Look what the fairies left me!

Yes, he is a child of John Hoffman.  How did you guess?

All of these photos were taken by my dear friend Juanita Cannan.  There were so many great photos of the labor and delivery that I had to control myself from posting all of them.  She captured the event so well.  The newborn pictures were darling and it was really fun walking around the gardens at Ralston White retreat finding nice places to shoot.  I love how they came out.

Many thanks to all who were involved with that special day last May.  Thank you to Griselda and Yana and Leopi for being my guardians during the birth as well as providing comprehensive prenatal care. Thank you to Hannah for being there and video taping it all. Thank you to Juanita for spending the whole day with us and beautifully capturing the event in photography.  Thank you to Roger and Ava (aka Grandpa and Grandma) for taking the kids on a fun trip to Star Restaurant and the park and to my parents Ben and Peggy and sister Mary and her husband Sean for watching the kids at their house and in the creek all afternoon and evening....they still remember that day as one of the best in their lives.  Thank you to my patient, courageous and tender husband John who caressed me and massaged me as well as laughed and cried with me through ALL of my labors.  Without you, I literally could not have done it.  And most of all, thank you Lord for all of the blessings in my life.  Even when times are truly hard, I cannot even count all of the gifts You have given me.  The day that Henry was born, You showered them down on me even more.  Happy birthday my little one.

Family Circus

 So we were driving home from somewhere and the kids were asking about my grandfather and they were surprised to hear that his name is Ben just like their grandfather.  When they asked why people called him Fahr we explained it came from how a small child (his children) might pronounce "father".  Grace said "I thought it was "Far" like in run far away."  Without hesitation Darragh added "And I thought it was "Far" like Jafar!"  (the tall, narrow, evil advisor to the Sultan from Aladdin)  I laugh every time I think of my tall, narrow grandfather with a twisted black beard and a serpent staff.

The other day we had an unexpected visitor.  My house was unusually messy and it was dinner prep time which is my most busy and hectic part of the day.  Thinking I had imagined the doorbell I opened the front door without changing the atmosphere of the house and was shocked to see a person standing there that introduced himself (was here to see my father-in-law) and asked to come in.  I invited him in and he looked around at what was going on.  I am not kidding when I say it was a circus.  The kids were dancing wildly to the classic Can Can piece that was playing at a deafening volume from the speakers.  The house was shaking from the thuds of bodies flinging themselves from the couches and there was a baby crying and throwing angry handfuls of cheerios in cascades to the floor.  The dining room table was covered in construction paper, pens, homework, a laptop and my papers, piles of folded laundry,  spilled milk cups and pretzels and a vase with dead flowers.  As I led him across the room it got worse as I had to guide him not to trip on the hundreds of legos on the floor and keep children from spinning into him in their frenzied dance.  Thank goodness I had on lipstick as this random touch gave the impression that I had allowed things to be this way on purpose.  Much to my surprise he seemed unshaken by it all and in fact carried on pleasant conversation as if we were in the lobby of an elegant hotel.  I seated him and quickly siphoned off the majority of the mess on the table where he was seated and offered him tea.  My father-in-law came to my rescue and entertained him while I got into a highly focused state of efficient tidying.  Sending the kids to the boys bedroom along with the CD with the Can-Can music, they continued their acrobatics on the bunk bed and I prayed a prayer for their safety and proceeded in closing two doors between them and the living room.  

Sometimes I wonder if I am a bit crazy but I find that one of my greatest pleasures is cleaning my house without kids under my foot.  I can clean up my entire house and put almost everything in its place (I do the job right...not just pushing piles and throwing things in closets), in about 45 minutes including vacuuming for its never done until it's vacuumed.  By the time the man left, my house was sparkling, dinner was on and I was still wearing lipstick and having a glass of wine.  /sigh. There are not many things that can conjure the same feeling of satisfaction and pride to a homemaker.  Sounds shallow I know but we mommies have to find these moments in our days to motivate us to keep going.  An eccentric woman from my church used to have a carved wooden sign over her kitchen door that said "Magic Mommy".  I believe the story is that she got it from friends (she was a groupie with those Greatful Dead guys) for baking "special" cookies and nurturing people.  While I don't quite like the laced cookies idea, I have always loved the title of Magic Mommy.  So there in my kitchen, in my clean house, listening to my laughing children and sipping my wine while wearing lipstick on a Tuesday afternoon, I was Magic Mommy.  Lesson learned?  An unexpected guest can have surprising result on your house and your outlook.  Or, be sure to always wear lipstick.  

Crazy Mommy

Grace came home from a party with a little spinning toy pumpkin.  When you push a button at the bottom, the face inside spins and stops at one of four different faces sort of like a roulette wheel.  As I began to press the button I realized that the pumpkin was showing all of the emotions and faces that I make in this house multiple times a day and in close succession!  Here are the many pumpkin faces of Alice.

Happy, excited

Dumbfounded but trying to have a good attitude

Mean, mad mommy telling everybodyforheavensakepleasepickupyourclothesandputtheminthehamper getoutofthecribandstopwakingthebabyheJUSTfellasleepyoudon'tneedanentirerolloftoiletpapertowipeyourbottom!

Worried momma, are they going to survive? Am I going to survive? Do they know how much I love them? What am I going to make for dinner? How many peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches a week is considered dangerous to a childs health?

9 Years!

If you had asked me the day I got married to John where I thought we would be in 9 years I would never have guessed the life we now live.  I guess that that would be true of most people though.  In my youth I didn't know much about love when I thought that I did.  Love between two people who have promised to stick together no matter what can be the most dynamic, the most comforting, and the most fulfilling.  (Especially when they both serve the Lord)  My love for John has grown deeper and more intimate than ever and it will only grow more that way as we continue to pursue each other.  Sure, there have been times that we have not been loving to each other and these were harder, more lonely times.  We were lost from each other and had to find our ways back together.  Like Hansel and Gretel, we learned to leave a breadcrumb trail back home and then follow that path when we found ourselves lost again.  When I see John trying to love me my heart swells.  The fact that he loves me and looks for ways to bless me is astounding.  Someone loves me!  And he doesn't just love me because he feels like it...let me tell you, it is not always easy to love me.  And yet, he chooses to.
Marriage has grown me in ways I wouldn't have grown if I had never met John and never promised to spend the rest of my life with him.  If we had decided to live together and not get married I think that we may still be together today but it would have been a rougher road with who knows what kind of damage occurring along the way.  John PROMISED to be my husband for as long as he or I live.  I can and must count on his faithfulness to keep this promise just as he must count on mine.  It is this that forms the foundation of our bond.  When I think of him, my soul sighs in relief that he is my faithful partner through whatever may befall me.  I have been loving John for 13 years and I look forward to the many (many!) years to come.

Our 9th Anniversary date at Hill Top in Novato.

Game Time

So for Christmas Grace received some games that initiated her into the game world that John and Nathanael have always been interested in.  The brothers have played Magic the Gathering for years as well at Dungeons and Dragons and other games of the like.  Grace has shown an interest so John bought her a Pokemon starter game.  Over the Christmas holiday both John and Nathanael would play with her every day.  Nathanael would come home on his lunch break and ask Grace if she wanted to play.  After dinner John would put a movie on for the younger kids and ask Grace if she wanted to play. I was impressed with their willingness to play with a beginner as well as their patience in waiting for her to read a card before she played it since the reading level is for at least 4th grade and she is in 1st.  Grace was eager to play and would spend hours at the table with them until she became mentally exhausted from all the hard reading and strategy.  After bed, I would hear John and Nathanael discussing her progress at learning and playing the game.  "She crushed me!" they would say.  I was impressed with their eagerness to train her and play with her.  After that they would sit down and play with her cards.  One day I noticed that they both had new sets of Pokemon cards of their own.  They would play late into the night out in the garage during the brew on beer making nights.  Grace liked to play but didn't seem nearly as excited to play as the guys were.  After this, John discovered a game called Pirates at Oceans Edge that allowed for younger players.  Upon opening the box and discovering the game contains the coolest little ships that you assemble and play on an ocean, the guys went out and bought several more of the games in order to get more of these cool ships.  After playing a few times, alterations have been made to make the game cooler and Nathanael customized an ocean playing surface that covers our entire dining room table.  These guys love to play good games.  Here they are on a typical night.  

Henry

I am in love with this little guy who is currently the smallest Hoffman.  (I have a feeling that eventually my second baby will end up the smallest Hoffman as I am the smallest of the Burtt Tribe even though I am the eldest.)  Henry is now 7 months old and is on the whole a sweet, good-natured boy who enjoys sitting and emptying his toy basket and not going anywhere. (He has yet to crawl and this is a very desirable stage) He is most happy when able to see his siblings playing close by.  He often will squeal and flap his arms when Grace comes to play as she is the only one who likes to interact with him in a way that is fun and not frightening.  Darragh loves to play with him but after about 2 minutes suffers an urge to pick him up and carry him around.  This sight, while uncomfortable for him and not very safe, is hilarious to witness as Darragh is so small and Henry getting so big....it looks a little like what Benny carrying Emma around would look like...awkward:)  But to Henry, he doesn't know that this is dangerous and he just hangs on and looks around as if this is completely normal...as it is to a person who cannot get around except for being carried by others.   Judah has started to really take an interest in his little brother.  He lets Henry grab his hair and face and gently touches his head to Henry's.  Judah's special way of loving his brother is to sing to him.  I LOVE to hear this as it is both sweet and hilarious.  Judah's voice become deep and husky and he sings songs he knows, often jingle bells with made up lyrics.  

Henry is still technically full time nursing.  He has begun to have the occasional Cheerios and broken animal crackers.  A few days ago he cut his very first tooth (phew!) and now has a sharp! edge with which to break up his Cheerios.  We have begun sign language again and are back to the old favorite "more" (touch all fingertips on each hand together and bring the hands together in a clapping motion)  None of our kids have demonstrated this sign until about 9 months but Henry may be sooner.  When I do the sign he looks at me with such focus that I swear I can almost see the wheels turning in his head as he gains understanding. I remember this with each of the kids at various monumental moments in learning and understanding and I will never loose fascination for it. 

 Most of the photos of me with my babies are taken by my other babies.  Therefore, they are usually not the best pictures but they still save an image from the past.  I love to see pictures of me with my babies.

 Darragh holding her little brother.

Cool dude taking a bath in the sink.